My Story:

Let’s set the scene.

I’m coming back from a major nerve damage injury, caused by a major lung surgery, which happened because one day my lung spontaneously decided it was done with staying inflated. I just got a brand new part-time job, my business’ website is getting more hits than ever, I just got to go on an amazing cruise with one of my besties, I just celebrated one year of living on my own terms, and even just launched my first blog post. Life is good. Scratch that — life is great.

I have been getting better and better at climbing. I’m in the best shape of my life. In fact, today’s the day I’m about to graduate from physical therapy. It’s a Monday morning, so I go to the gym. I climb better than I’ve ever climbed in my life. I even conquered my fear of standing up and just grabbing the wall. I feel invincible.

There’s one route that I haven’t been able to get up the past few times I’ve tried. I know it will be gone soon; they rotate the routes every couple of weeks. This could be my last chance to give it a try. I’m tired, my forearms feel like they’re going to burst out of my skin, but, I get some chalk on my hands and decide this will be my last one.

I start out and one of my favorite songs comes on, I push past the part I usually can’t get. I’m feeling great. I can do this. I’m 10 ft up now. Now I’m 15 ft up. I’m going fast. I’m almost through with it. I’m 20 ft up now. All I have to do is stand up and grab the top.

 

Then it happened.

As I stand up and reach, my foot slips. I’m falling forward, my face is about to hit the wall. I start trying to rotate to my back. I remember what that one guy said about how I’m going to break my arms if I keep bracing them back to catch myself, I decide I’m not going to put my arms back. I’m still not on my back yet, but the ground is coming up so fast. I land on both feet, and hear nothing but a crack. Or was it a pop? I grab my leg and roll on my back.

After a visit with my primary doctor, my physical therapist, and getting an MRI, I find out that my tibia is broken, and my meniscus is torn.

 

Sound familiar? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.

 

Everyone’s story is different.

The likelihood of you and I having the same injury story is incredibly small. But, stick with me — we probably went through many similar emotional states, and medical appointments. Or maybe you’re not injured at all, but are reading this because you’re one of my friends, or family members, or subscribers. Or maybe you’re reading this because you want to prepare yourself to be able to handle a situation like this should one ever rear its head in the future.

Truth is: it doesn’t matter why you’re reading this, my goal is to help you put life in perspective, and learn to appreciate even the smallest things that you wouldn’t otherwise notice.

 

So this thing happened, and it hurts, what now?

 

It’s okay to freak out if…

It’s okay to freak out if you don’t put yourself at risk of further injury OR ruin anyone else’s day. Injuries (both emotional and physical) can be some of the most frustrating events to ever happen to us. It’s normal, and even natural to be frustrated. What’s not okay, is making your frustration ruin someone else’s day.

So what are some things you can do to take the frustration out? My preferred method is slamming my fists against my bed and screaming into a pillow until I’m out of energy to panic, but if that’s not your thing, that’s okay too. Here are some ideas for how to freak out the right way:

• Write down how you feel.
• Take a shower and let yourself cry.
• Schedule a therapy appointment (Note: I’m a huge proponent of the idea that everyone needs to go to therapy, even if they don’t think they have any issues)
• Tear up sheets of old newspapers/ magazines/ etc that you were going to recycle anyways
• Draw, paint, cook, or create something.
• Go work out (if this is an emotional and not a physical injury)

Now that we got that out of the way, and you don’t have energy left to panic, we can shift our focus.

 

No matter what happens to you, there’s more than just one way to see it.

This is all about perspective. I recognized that if I just stayed mad about it all, I wouldn’t get anything done, and then I’d be in a bad mood and injured. Something I did was create a table. In the first column, I wrote down every reason this sucked, wasn’t fair, etc. In the second column, I wrote down what could have happened that would have been worse. Lastly, in the final column, I addressed why I wouldn’t want this to happen again, but I appreciated how this could be an opportunity for me.

Another exercise that I have found incredibly helpful to get rid of that complaining voice in the back of my head, is to prove it wrong and question what it’s saying. For example:

Turn…
“This never happens to anyone, and no one will understand. “
Into…
Has this REALLY never happened in all of human existence to anyone ever? Are there truly no other people on this planet who could possibly identify with you?

Turn…
“All anyone is ever going to see is my wheelchair/ crutches/ cast/ scars.”
Into…
Is that really all that’s going to go into their pupils? Are they never going to look you in the eyes? Or see your awesome hair? Or admire your smile? If that’s all they see, do you really want to be friends with them? Or care what they think?

Turn…
“Everyone is going to look at me with pity or disapproval.”
Into…
Are you sure they’re not looking at you in admiration? You’re pushing through a big obstacle, do you think it’s possible that they admire your strength, or attitude, or persistance? Have you ever disapproved of someone you’ve never met because they were injured?

This list could go on forever.

The point is, most of the things we’re freaking out about aren’t even true. Remind yourself daily that you are pushing through something tough, and that you’re doing the best you can (Note: Make sure that you are ACTUALLY doing the best you know you are capable of). If the injury was your fault, forgive yourself. But don’t let you trick yourself into believing something that isn’t valid — that’s the surest way to stay where you are.

 

Interacting with the people you love.

Telling the people you’re closest to about what happened is often one of the hardest parts, especially if you want to avoid stressing them out. These are the people that are going to want you to give them the most information, and they’ll definitely have the most questions.

My advice:

• In a situation where you need to be hospitalized ASAP, tell them immediately, and sign the appropriate forms so that they can ask the hospital staff questions and get answers.

1. This makes it a professional’s job to accurately relay the information.
2. In situations like these, the less energy you put into being worried about other people, the more energy you can put into healing yourself, which will benefit the people you were worried about being worried more than your worry will. (tongue twister, right?)
    

• In a situation where you are going to go to doctor’s offices, getting scans, or waiting for test results, gather as much information as you can and make sure you’ve calmed down enough to tell them.

1. If you can say everything with a calm demeanor, state the facts, and point out the positive aspects, the people who care about you will usually follow your lead.
2. If you’ve decided on a course of action, tell them before they get a chance to talk you out of it. Say you have firmly made a decision, and ask that they respect it and support you. Period.
    

It’s important to not have panicked people around you when you’re dealing with these types of things. If necessary, just say it plain and simple, “What I need right now is support, not stress.”

 

You’d be amazed at the things you can ask of people, in which they will happily provide.

When it comes to people offering to help, or using the phrase “If you need anything, let me know,” most of the time we see this as accepting pity for ourselves, and never actually ask for anything out of pride.

I’m going to tell you right now: pride in who you are and who you’re becoming is great; pride that’s based in fear of how other people will see you is not. You have people who love and care for you, and are genuinely asking to make your life easier on your terms. Why in heaven’s name wouldn’t you let them help you?! Here’s a little known secret: when people offer to help you, they are the ones who truly benefit, because giving is contagious, and releases happy hormones. Allow them to help you, shower them in gratitude and appreciation, and you both win.

 

Unforeseen circumstances can yield unforeseen creativity.

Throughout history, we can find so many examples of this. There’s a problem, a mountain range, a river, an ocean, a roadblock, etc. and somehow, someway, someone eventually finds a creative way to get where they want to get anyways.

How is this relevant to you? Well, it’s likely that with whatever limitations your injury brings, there’s a way to get around it, but only if you’re proactive and creative. Before you go to see a doctor and get a prognosis or diagnosis, think about the things in your life that are important for you to do. This could be taking your dog on walks, or being outside, or playing with your kid, etc. Really think about these. When you’re in a room with the doc, ask them specifically if you will be able to do these things, you’ll probably get a yes or no answer. If it’s no, then ask why, and get the specifics about it. The WHY is the problem here.

Then, get creative solving the why-problem. So if you can’t take your dog on a walk because you can’t put weight on your knee, the problem is “you can’t put weight on your knee.” Then get creative. Would it be possible for you to get a wheelchair temporarily? Are there programs that lend out wheelchairs? Could you get on that list? The point is, your doctor is going to tell you to do what they’ve been trained to tell you to do. But, if you talk to them about the why, and come up with a solution that addresses their concerns, then maybe instead of being bedridden for weeks, you can actually get to live your life too. I mean, it’s worth a shot, right? One of the best tricks to staying positive, and feeling good when it feels like everything is falling down around you, is winning these little battles over the things in life that are important to you.

 

It’s ultimately your choice.

This is and has been the hardest thing for me to accept in my life, but after I did, the way I saw the world totally changed.

You get to choose how you feel, and what you do. Sure, it’s the pharmacy’s fault that they told you your prescription was ready when it wasn’t, but you’re reaction is your choice. Sure, you fell off a climbing wall just as everything was shaping up, but you get to choose how you react. Sure, that guy shouldn’t have cut you off and slammed on his breaks in rush hour traffic, but you get to choose how you react.

 

So if you want to stay upset, injured, and be the victim of circumstance, then be my guest. Or you can choose to believe that everyone is doing the best they can do with the awareness that they have, and maybe you’ll realize that everyone isn’t out to get you. I’m going to encourage you to accept that this injury happened, and choose not to let it define you. You can choose to find the joy, or you can choose to focus on the pain. You can choose to do the exercises I’ve provided, or you can choose not to. You can deal with this gracefully, or you can be miserable. But, in the end, the choice is yours.

 

Sincerely,
Taylor